By Adam Kiefaber
If you are a Bengals fan, than you might know what it is like being a loser.
Our family, friends and co-workers have been making fun for us ever since Lewis Billups dropped that interception in the end zone during Super Bowl XXIII.
More recently, the Bengals have improved themselves from the NFL’s doormat to a mediocre franchise, but there isn’t anything funny about mediocrity.
That was until the team gained the reputation of being a bunch of convicts and the fan base’s hardship now continues.
Things looked promising for a bit when the team drafted golden boy Carson Palmer and acquired a defensive-minded head coach in Marvin Lewis.
That period caused an explosion in popularity within the city of Cincinnati. Fans acutally had enough pride to purchase team jerseys and apparel by the truck load.
In a flash, it was cool to be a Bengal fan and for only a second it was cool to wear your Bengal jersey out in public.
Now, unless you are surrounded by fellow Bengal fans on gamedays it isn’t cool to sport your stripes outside the comfort of your own home. However, with the loss of Odell Thurman, Justin Smith, Madieu Williams to free agency combined with the bad play of Willie Anderson and Rudi Johnson, the injuries to Chris Perry and Ahmad Brooks and the bad attitude of that “WR,” it is extremely hard for us Bengal fans to appear cool even among our own kind.
In most areas of the country, Bengal jerseys will draw remarks that would crush the spirits of a young fan that has only been on this black-and-orange wagon for a few years. But for some of us that have been on this bumpy wagon for our entire lives, we can’t help but feel like losers as we try to find a new jersey.
Personally, I am on that quest of trying to find that jersey that will make me feel cool and confident.
So, let’s take a look in the Bengals Pro Shop
#9 Carson Palmer - This choice is just too obvious. Sure, you can’t go wrong with a Palmer jersey, but it isn’t very original. Going back to the time when it became cool to be a Bengal fan, the franchise was able to attract the female supporters, thus the Palmer jersey then became known as a girl jersey.
#7 Boomer Esiason - You might have to pay a little extra more, but buying a Boomer jersey is a safe purchase. He can’t leave the team and chances are that he won’t be arrested any time soon.
#55 Ahmad Brooks - I never understood why the Ahmad Brooks jersey is even available. Brooks is a linebacker that was chosen in the third round of the supplemental draft and only has 37 total tackles and two sacks in two seasons (has appeared in 13 games). You could buy the Brooks jersey to be different, but unless he starts to perform, you are just going to feel stupid.
#85 - Are you joking? I am not one of those crazies that will give mine away or burn it, but I would certainly not buy another one for any amount over 1 cent. My advice, keep your Bengal jerseys until another #85 emerges, replace his name with the new one.
#23 Chris Perry - I bet there are more #26 Chris Perry jerseys out there. I am a Chris Perry fan and I hope that he has a great season this year, but I doubt anyone is rushing to buy this jersey.
#28 Dexter Jackson - This former Super Bowl MVP might not be a starter at safety this season and will probably not be re-signed this offseason, that is if he isn’t a cap casualty this offseason.
#99 David Pollack - Retired from the game.
#24 Deltha O’Neal - See #28 Dexter Jackson, pretty much the same situation.
#91 Robert Geathers - More original than a Carson Palmer and like Palmer he will be around for a long time. Despite a poor year (statistically), I expect Geathers’ jersey sales to do extremely well.
#17 Shayne Graham - Don’t get me started about Graham, if you sport this jersey, I will have no respect for you or anyone within a five-mile radius of you.
#84 T.J. Houshmandzadeh - Is in his last year of his contract, but you have to figure that the Bengals will re-sign him. If they don’t, this is still a great jersey and someone that a Bengal fan can be proud of.
#22 Jonathan Joseph - Joseph looked like a future star his rookie season, but after being arrested in the offseason (before ‘07 season) Joseph just looked average. Being only 24, ‘Jon Jo’ is still learning and can eventual be a shutdown corner.
#29 Leon Hall - Hall struggled at the start of the season, as he was thrown into the fire. However, he improved with each game and now has a solid jersey available for purchase.
#03 Marvin Lewis - HAHA! Did you buy this jersey? Did you also buy the ‘Do your job’ t-shirts? This is the most ridiculous Bengal jersey of all time and that is saying something.
#40 Madieu Williams - Gone. Signed with the Vikings this offseason. It is sad because it was one of my jerseys, but I can’t fault the Bengals because the Vikings are overpaying for his services.
#78 Anthony Munoz - See #7 Boomer Esiason, Munoz is also a safe purchase. Hall-of-fame tackle who still remains close to the current team.
#32 Rudi Johnson - Struggled last year. With a good 2008 season, Bengal fans will be able to wear their Rudi jerseys with pride.
#51 Odell Thurman - Released this week and will never be back. 2005 was fun.
#71 Willie Anderson - Anderson seems to be on his last legs even though he won’t admit it. I don’t recommend that you shell out $80 for jersey that you might not be able to wear again.
#77 Andrew Whitworth - I didn’t even know the team’s pro shop had this jersey available for purchase, but they do. Not a bad purchase, Whitworth should be on the team for a long time.
The top 5 jerseys for 2008
1) Keith Rivers - when his jersey comes out expect big sales
2) Antwan Odom - the team would be smart to release this jersey
3) Carson Palmer - can’t go wrong with the savior of the franchise
4) Robert Geathers - a great player in Cincinnati for a long time
5) Boomer Esiason - classic throwback
12 comments ↓
[…] Bengals Stripes searches for a jersey that doesn’t make him look like a loser. […]
So what is your beef with Shane Grahm? Is it just because he is a kicker or am I missing something?
sorry for the bad link… wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing…
wow… thats 2 for 2… trying again
Welcome, Heath - from now on your comments will flow unmoderated, sorry for the delay.
As far as Shayne Graham goes, well here are a couple of things that I have written about him in the past
“If you read Bengal Stripes on a regular basis, you know that I’m extremely hard on Graham. Honestly, I was going to give him a thumbs up after making two field goals without crying. I was even going to pretend that his weak diving attempt for a tackle on the opening kickoff - didn’t happen. After the Bengals took a 21-17 lead with 2:42 left in the game - Graham kicked it out of bounds. The ball was placed at the 40 and the Seahawks were able to score. Sure, the Bengals’ special teams might have allowed the return to go past the 40, but the momentium had changed and kicking it out of bounds just takes all that away. Graham couldn’t tie his shoe in a critical situation.”
Above was week three
Below is week one
“Graham, who was injured in the Bengals’ third preseason game, booted an ugly ball that fell well short of the goal posts and into the hands of safety Ed Reed. Graham, who appeared to be fine prior to the kick, limped off the field, slammed his helmet to ground and fell to the ground as though he just got crushed by Ray Lewis.”
Still week one
“Two more punts, before Graham somehow was able to kick a 40-yard field goal. After being exhausted from the field-goal attempt, Graham makes a poor effort to tackle kick returner B.J. Sams. Sams returns it to the Bengals’ 41, while Graham lays out on the sideline as if he just collapsed after running in the Boston Marathon.”
And there was that straight away FG in 2006 against the Steelers that he shanked to the his right (my left as I was standing right between the FG posts), as if he was getting paid to lose - if you remember that FG would have put the Bengals in the playoffs- since it happened on New Year’s Eve, it pretty much ruined two years.
As the saying goes, “that is just the tip of the iceberg”
Wow.
Okay… so, outside of the ugliness that is Shayne Graham, on more than one occasion - I venture to say that we are overlooking the whole point of avoiding the purchase of his jersey, which is… HE’S THE FRIGGIN’ KICKER! He’s a glorified soccer player that decided to put down the “gay” and pick up a helmet (sorry soccer fans - obviously I’m not one of you). The kicker is easily one of the least respected positions in the game of football, second only to the punter. Even though I’ve got nothing but props for Larson, I still wouldn’t buy his jersey.
I say, go Geathers or Rivers. That, or wait a year to see which one of our new receivers starts to emerge as a replacement for “those we do not mention.”
By the way… the Magic City “thing” was a one-time deal. Who knew that “making it rain” meant… well…
Anyway, “the face of a Bull Terrier,” well I say Bull *#@$! Chris Sabo has the face of a god and the heart of a lion-bear hybrid.
Be bold. Wait for that Jason “Leviathan” Shirley gear. He’s gigantic and that’s got to be good for something. Okay, seriously, what about a brand new Peko jersey? Or, as a smack in the face to you know who, a throwback, Isaac Curtis jersey? For the hard hitters, Chinedum Ndukwe or Marvin White?
Plus, I hear Graham, Breech, and Pelphrey get into some three-way action in the guise of Kicks for Kids.
Peko would be nice.
Ndukwe would be a huge seller - he is already a fan favorite.
White, not so much, but he will have a chance to prove himself this year
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